I'M A SWEET TRANSVESTITE!!!!!!!!!
by The Fork Dork
Summary: Well, Zell and the gang go to see a midnight showing of "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" And total chaos ensues. Outlandish costumes and PURE chaos! PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!!!!
1. Default Chapter

~The rocky horror picture show~

~ The rocky horror picture show ~

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Zell ran into the cafeteria where everyone (Squall, Selphie, Irvine, Quistis, Fujin, Raijin, Seifer and Rinoa) sat, laughing excitedly at what he had in his hand: 11 pieces of paper. (Whatever could they be?)

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Zell: Guess what I got everyone!!!! waves the pieces of paper in the air

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Seifer: a sex change?

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Zell: Shut up! And for your information NO! It's something TOTALLY better!

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Selphie: A talking elephant?

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Zell: Nope! Even better! 

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Selphie: What's better than a talking elephant?

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Quistis: A talking Giraffe?

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Zell: Nope, even better. Though a talking Giraffe would be cool…but this is even better!

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Everyone else: What _did_ you get?

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Zell: hehe, you can't believe it but I go tickets to….drum roll please….

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Everyone: ….

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Zell: Tickets to the midnight show of "THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW"!!!!

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Everyone: … 

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Rinoa: Oh my god! Not THE Rocky horror picture show?!

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Zell: YES, THE Rocky Horror Picture Show!

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Everyone except Rinoa: What's that?

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Zell: ONLY THE COOLEST MOVIE EVER MADE! And I got enough tickets for everyone! But everyone has to dress up as characters from the movie. 

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Rinoa: I always wanted to go to the midnight show! Wait a minute…how come no one knows what it is? Didn't everyone see it?

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Everyone else: no…

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Rinoa: hehe, I've gotta copy of it in at my house. I'll show it to you all k?

***after seeing the movie***

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Rinoa turns off the T.V.

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Rinoa: So what did ya think?

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Quistis: I have never seen anything so nauseating…her face is really green as she holds her stomach

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Everyone else (besides Squall): THAT WAS COOL!

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Rinoa: what did you think Squall?

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Squall: that was…Er…interesting. *cough*

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Zell: Now is everyone going to the midnight show?!

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Irvine: Hell yea!

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Selphie: OF COURSE!

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Seifer: I guess…

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Quistis: Whatever…

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Fujin: AFFIRMATIVE

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Raijin: I'll go, ya know.

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Squall: ….

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Zell: YAY! Everyone's going! Remember…you HAVE to dress up as a character k?! Meet at the front gate at EXACTLY 9:00 Friday night okay?! No costume, no ticket, got that? 

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Rinoa: Come on Squall I know the PERFECT costume for you!

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Squall: What in the hell am I getting myself into?

~ _To be continued…~ oOoOoOoOoOoO _


	2. COSTUMES!!!

~ Costume time

~ Costume time!~

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~ For all of you who have never seen "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" I included costume descriptions too Enjoy and don't forget to REVIEW!!!

The day of the big night finally came. Quistis, dressed as Janet, walks up to the front gate. She waits for everyone else to come.

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Quistis: Where is everyone?! It's exactly 9:00!Where's Zell? 

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Quistis looked down at her white shoes, pink dress, little purse, and hat. Janet was the only character that she had enough decency to dress as. 

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Selphie: Hey Quisty! Like my Columbia costume? she does a little spin

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Quistis: …I don't know what to say…

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And I wouldn't either. Selphie was dressed in a black feather boa, corset, underwear and leggings with garters. Her brown hair was uncurled and colored red…Along with white make-up and lots of eyeliner.

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Selphie: I like it! Don't you?!

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Quistis: I guess…

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Selphie: You look nice too! 

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Irvine (dressed as Eddie, the ex-delivery boy): Howdy Ladies. whistles Lookin' good Selphie!

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Selphie: Thanks Irvy. You look good too. 

Irv_ine wore worn jeans, a ripped black T-shirt, a black leather vest and had his long auburn hair tucked under a "Elvis Presley" like black Wig. His face was painted white with grey bags under his eyes and a little blood here and there. In other words: he looked ghostly._

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Quistis: Now where's Zell?

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Zell: The Doctor is in!

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Selphie: Dr. Frank N. Furtur?

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Zell: Like my costume?

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Irvine: Looks real authentic! 

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Zell: I made extra sure that my costume looked like the one in the movie.

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Quistis: OH MY GOD!

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Hehe I would say that too if I saw Zell dressed like that. He wore a black corset, black underwear with leather gloves that went to the elbow, and fishnet stockings. He also had a painted heart and arrow tattoo with the word "BOSS" on the arm. (very dominatrix *cough*) His hair was tucked under a small afro wig. His face was also white with red lipstick, and blue eye shadow. And to finish it off: black high heels.

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Quistis: I think I'm gonna puke…she felt very out of place

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Rinoa: Wait until you see me and Squall's costumes!!!!

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Rinoa was dressed as Brad Majors (ironically),she wore a tuxedo with a plaid bow tie and cummerbund, and thick black framed glasses. Her hair was tucked under a short brown wig.

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Rinoa (in a low voice): Hi I'm Brad Majors. 

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Zell: Asshole! Oops hehe, sorry just my instincts.

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Quistis: Why are you dressed as Brad?

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Rinoa: You'll see…Squally come out!

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Squall ( from behind the wall): No… I am not going to this stupid showing dressed like this…

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Rinoa: Oh no you don't!!!! runs behind wall and pulls a resistant Squall from behind.

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Irvine: O MAN! That is bad.

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Squall: Grrr….

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Squall was dressed as Janet. Unlike Quistis, he wore Janet's other costume. Which includes: a white bra and ripped white slip. His black boxers were popping from under the slip. He still wore his usual black boots. Adorning his head: a short blonde curly wig.

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Squall: Rinoa, I feel stupid…

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Rinoa: No, you look cool as ever!

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Squall: *grumble, grumble*

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Selphie: Rini, how DID you get Squall to wear that?!

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Quistis: I don't even WANT to go there!!!!!!!!! covers her ears

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Zell: Er…creative! Hehe sweatdrop

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Selphie: All we need now is Seifer, Fujin and Raijin.

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Seifer: We're Here, We're Here…

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Seifer was dressed as Riff-Raff, the butler. He wore a snaky, old looking butler's uniform and a wig with long stringy white hair. His face was white with big bags. 

Fujin was Magenta, the maid. She had an old maid's uniform with fishnet stockings and a red curly wig. She didn't need to wear any white make up because she was already pale enough. But she did remember to put on lots and lots of red lipstick. 

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Quistis: Oh…My…God… she saw Raijin

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Raijin: Like my costume, ya know?

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Raijin wore the infamous Rocky Horror costume with a blonde mop top wig and tiny gold underwear and that was about it. Hehehe (^____^)

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Everyone: !!!

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Raijin: Well, I like it! 

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Everyone: sweatdrop

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Zell: Since everyone is here lets get going!

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Squall: O brother…


	3. The Road to Rocky Horror

~ The Road to Rocky Horror ~

~ The Road to Rocky Horror ~

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After taking a train across the sea, our friends are in a rental car and driving to the theater where they would be seeing the movie. Though there was one problem: Zell wasn't sure where that was…

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Selphie (chanting): Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?

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Zell (At the wheel): No damn it! Stop chanting that! You're driving me CRAZY!!!!!

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Selphie: Are we there yet? Are we there yet?

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Zell: Grrr….

an hour passed

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Squall: Do you know where we're going?

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Zell: Of course I do! He…he…he…sweatdrop

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Seifer: Don't tell me were LOST!!!!!

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Zell: Of course not!!! I know exactly where we're going!!!! 

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Seifer: Hey Raijin, bet ya 50 gil that Zell is lost.

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Raijin: No way, man ya know. Everyone knows that Zell is lost, ya know.

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Selphie (surprised): WHAT?! WE'RE LOST!?!?!?!?!?!?

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Everyone: sweatdrop

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Rinoa: Duh! Why do you think we've been sitting here so long!?

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Raijin: I have a wedgie…

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Fujin: SHUT UP! smacks him in the head

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Raijin: But I really need to pick it!

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Everyone: NO!!! FOR THE LOVE OF HYNE NO!

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Raijin: whimpers in discomfort

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Fujin: CAN'T STAND THIS DRESS!

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Quistis: Zzzz

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Irvine: Can someone PLEASE get Quistis off of me?! She's drooling!

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Rinoa: Better get used to it, we're gonna be sitting here for some time…

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Zell: For the last time! We ARE not lost!

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Seifer: Then where are we going chickenwuss?!

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Zell: Er…it has to be one of these cities on this continent…

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Seifer: There are tons of cities on this continent!

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Zell: he..he…I think we're lost….Why are we slowing down?

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Seifer: We're out of fuel damn it! 

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Selphie: Does that mean…WE"RE WALKING?!

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Squall: I guess…

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Fujin: DAMN HIGH HEELS!!!!

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Squall: I am NOT going outside looking like a cross-dressing mental patient.

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another hour

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Squall (walking): *grumble, grumble*

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Zell: man, these heels are killing me!!!! And we only got another hour till the show starts.

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Irvine: God Zell! why couldn't you CHECK where the theater was before you dragged us into this!

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Zell: I did check! I just forgot where it was…

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Fujin: smacks Zell

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Zell: Ow!

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Selphie: Let's just go back to Balamb, we're not gonna make the show anywise. It's already 11:00! Besides, this corset is making it hard to breathe.

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Quistis: I regret ever agreeing to going to this thing!

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Zell: NO! We are seeing "The Rocky Horror Picture Show!"

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Seifer: Well, we're not gonna make it cause you got LOST!

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Zell: Will you give me a break!!!!!!! Everyone gets lost once in a while!

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Seifer: Yea, if everyone was a CHICKENWUSS!!!! 

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Rinoa: Will you guys stop shouting?! It's not helping the situation!

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Seifer: Why SURE Rinoa! sticks tongue out at Zell

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Zell: I might be wearing heels, but I can still beat your pansy little ASS! 

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Seifer and Zell charge at each other. Though before they could exchange blows, they both ran into something…

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Zell and Seifer: Ow! What in the hell was that?!

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Selphie: It was a tree you idiots…

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Irvine: We are never gonna make it to the show! Let's just go home!!!!

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Raijin: Hey you guys? What does this mean: _Showing at the Timber Theater_?

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Everyone: Where did you find that!

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Raijin: Oh, it's just printed on the tickets. 

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Everyone (besides Zell): DAMN YOU, ZELL!!!!!!

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Zell: He…he…he. Uh, lets get going, we only have another half-hour to get to Timber.

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Seifer: Remind me to kill you when we get back to Balamb…

~ That was chapter 3. Did you like? You better review, or I will seriously kill you…Well, chapter 4 won't be up for a while. 'Cause school is starting and yea…ugh…I hate school!


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